Stop dating douchebags
I dug up this old but awesome post I wrote. Enjoy Sweethearts!
I am a person that learns from life and her experiences as well as from others.
I have witnessed my share of dysfunctional relationships and have had personal encounters with them too. However, the difference between me and 90% of the population is that I learn, I value myself and never take steps back.
One of the most popular questions in love pertains to why women in particular date assholes.
Why are most women attracted to “bad boys”?
Really, the more I observe the behavior when “in love” the more frustrated and disgusted I become. We can surely be quite paradoxical creatures, some might even say a bit enigmatic.
I have in my past put myself in the unfortunate position of kissing frogs.
Until one day I thought to myself. Why the fuck am kissing reptiles!? There are many types of wrong individuals, and sure THEY push you to dig deep and bring out your negative personality traits.... WRONG! ----- really we put ourselves in that situation! WE allowed them, we are not entirely to blame but we must accept certain responsability, which will allow us to move forward and be stronger. You must remember to own your mistakes missy! Be a big girl and stop your contributions to the negative relationships.
PSSSST I know for a fact there are some pretty outstanding men out there. So darling, don't you DARE settle for that douche!
It is my experience that the main reason we make poor choices in men is because we lack not only experience but mostly confidence and self esteem which usually and for the most part stems from childhood.
We are always searching (whether consciously or subconsciously) for a masculine figure, an “in control” kind of guy and although “assholes” might portray a confident assertive being, a leader, in control -- I have discovered the deep dark truth that what they REALLY are is arrogant little boys crying for mama’s attention.
I am sad to announce but happy to enlighten you that they are unfortunate souls, they are lost little boys in search of who they are, they can even be aggressive, controlling and domineering pimps of emotions. Don’t expect to see even a hint of their true colors until later on into the relationship, which in turn becomes harder to end because by this point you have created attachment to this person, history, dependencies, you are now comfortable in this dysfunction and it is your new “normal” and you have “love” invested and created.
So many of us have fallen victims to these relationships because we allow it! YOU need to, you MUST step outside the box, beyond your comfort for what you deserve or you can remain in the comfort of your personal misery. The pain and abuse of these relationships become something so familiar to the point that it is your new "normal" and familiar situations are a lot easier to face than change, this is the main reason why people stay in dysfunctional relationships what ever theirs might entail.
Sure nobody looks to or wants to get treated poorly and be abused!! But try to be more attentive!
When trying to get to know someone, rather than just listening to their words, try to also observe the patterns in their life. What kind of relationships have they had lately? How have their dates been? Have they dated others and not just jerks throughout their life? Do they attract losers only? We attract what our suppressed beliefs are. I am of the opinion that our thoughts, our behaviors and emotions play huge factors in the people we invite into our life, whether it is on purpose or by pure unmindful.
I know this piece I am writing here will generate a lot of possible hate mail and comments but these are MY thoughts, you are entitled to your own and you are welcomed to either leave or come back, the door swings both ways.
That poor helpless victim of many unfortunate events you feel deeply sorry for? Screw that! I see a strong individual! A person made of pure love, courage, potential, and extreme intellectual! Sometimes what we need is a bright light to shine our way, anything to make us snap back to reality!
It is a matter of plain decision and focus, we are all very well capable of transforming not only ourselves but our relationships and our complete life, we have the power to construct all that we deserve and are meant to be and do.
I am NOT sorry that this will upset many! I stand my ground and refuse to look at anyone as a victim! I can see that they are incredible gracious beings full of life, hopes, dreams and big things awaiting to bloom. You might think, how dare she speak this way, it's not easy etc, darling I KNOW, I HAVE BEEN THERE, which is exactly why I am comfortable enough to give you straight organic beans! I know what the heck I am talking about hunny. I had to be my own best friend, sometimes my only friend, and I got out and survived!
What makes a person not good relationship material?
As awesome, wonderful, fun and amazing someone might seem, there are various red flags you need to keep an eye out for when choosing your partner. I will be writing my next post on the Red Flags to look for.
You need to stay away from someone with major issues (we all have issues more on the next post), stay away from extreme unnecessary nonsense as it will only frustrate you and bring you down, not to mention keep you from meeting the right one.
REMEMBER:
Respect and love yourself enough to spend your time, effort, and attention with someone that carries positive vibrations. Change your FOCUS to only high quality individuals. Be productive with the time and energy you allocate into all relationships in life.
** The picture shared is not my property, but belong to their own individual source, http://quaedam.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/douche.gif?w=450 **
*These are my personal thoughts, views and opinions. You are entitled to your own, and I respect them.
I am a person that learns from life and her experiences as well as from others.
I have witnessed my share of dysfunctional relationships and have had personal encounters with them too. However, the difference between me and 90% of the population is that I learn, I value myself and never take steps back.
One of the most popular questions in love pertains to why women in particular date assholes.
Why are most women attracted to “bad boys”?
Really, the more I observe the behavior when “in love” the more frustrated and disgusted I become. We can surely be quite paradoxical creatures, some might even say a bit enigmatic.
I have in my past put myself in the unfortunate position of kissing frogs.
Until one day I thought to myself. Why the fuck am kissing reptiles!? There are many types of wrong individuals, and sure THEY push you to dig deep and bring out your negative personality traits.... WRONG! ----- really we put ourselves in that situation! WE allowed them, we are not entirely to blame but we must accept certain responsability, which will allow us to move forward and be stronger. You must remember to own your mistakes missy! Be a big girl and stop your contributions to the negative relationships.
PSSSST I know for a fact there are some pretty outstanding men out there. So darling, don't you DARE settle for that douche!
It is my experience that the main reason we make poor choices in men is because we lack not only experience but mostly confidence and self esteem which usually and for the most part stems from childhood.
We are always searching (whether consciously or subconsciously) for a masculine figure, an “in control” kind of guy and although “assholes” might portray a confident assertive being, a leader, in control -- I have discovered the deep dark truth that what they REALLY are is arrogant little boys crying for mama’s attention.
I am sad to announce but happy to enlighten you that they are unfortunate souls, they are lost little boys in search of who they are, they can even be aggressive, controlling and domineering pimps of emotions. Don’t expect to see even a hint of their true colors until later on into the relationship, which in turn becomes harder to end because by this point you have created attachment to this person, history, dependencies, you are now comfortable in this dysfunction and it is your new “normal” and you have “love” invested and created.
So many of us have fallen victims to these relationships because we allow it! YOU need to, you MUST step outside the box, beyond your comfort for what you deserve or you can remain in the comfort of your personal misery. The pain and abuse of these relationships become something so familiar to the point that it is your new "normal" and familiar situations are a lot easier to face than change, this is the main reason why people stay in dysfunctional relationships what ever theirs might entail.
Sure nobody looks to or wants to get treated poorly and be abused!! But try to be more attentive!
When trying to get to know someone, rather than just listening to their words, try to also observe the patterns in their life. What kind of relationships have they had lately? How have their dates been? Have they dated others and not just jerks throughout their life? Do they attract losers only? We attract what our suppressed beliefs are. I am of the opinion that our thoughts, our behaviors and emotions play huge factors in the people we invite into our life, whether it is on purpose or by pure unmindful.
I know this piece I am writing here will generate a lot of possible hate mail and comments but these are MY thoughts, you are entitled to your own and you are welcomed to either leave or come back, the door swings both ways.
That poor helpless victim of many unfortunate events you feel deeply sorry for? Screw that! I see a strong individual! A person made of pure love, courage, potential, and extreme intellectual! Sometimes what we need is a bright light to shine our way, anything to make us snap back to reality!
It is a matter of plain decision and focus, we are all very well capable of transforming not only ourselves but our relationships and our complete life, we have the power to construct all that we deserve and are meant to be and do.
I am NOT sorry that this will upset many! I stand my ground and refuse to look at anyone as a victim! I can see that they are incredible gracious beings full of life, hopes, dreams and big things awaiting to bloom. You might think, how dare she speak this way, it's not easy etc, darling I KNOW, I HAVE BEEN THERE, which is exactly why I am comfortable enough to give you straight organic beans! I know what the heck I am talking about hunny. I had to be my own best friend, sometimes my only friend, and I got out and survived!
What makes a person not good relationship material?
As awesome, wonderful, fun and amazing someone might seem, there are various red flags you need to keep an eye out for when choosing your partner. I will be writing my next post on the Red Flags to look for.
You need to stay away from someone with major issues (we all have issues more on the next post), stay away from extreme unnecessary nonsense as it will only frustrate you and bring you down, not to mention keep you from meeting the right one.
REMEMBER:
Respect and love yourself enough to spend your time, effort, and attention with someone that carries positive vibrations. Change your FOCUS to only high quality individuals. Be productive with the time and energy you allocate into all relationships in life.
** The picture shared is not my property, but belong to their own individual source, http://quaedam.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/douche.gif?w=450 **
*These are my personal thoughts, views and opinions. You are entitled to your own, and I respect them.
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